Cut & Run: The Misadventures of Alex Perez
by Alberto Arcia
Published: 30 Sept 2009
This picaresque novel whisks the reader on a sex and scam-filled escapade down the Pan American Highway
Alex Perez is an aspiring writer living with his girlfriend Ramona, who feeds him, washes and irons his clothes, and gives him nice and useful gifts. All that is expected of him in return is to satisfy her unquenchable sexual urges. Her mother Charlene is paying Ramona’s bills until she graduates from college, and she thinks Alex is a free loader. He’s horrified when Charlene gives him an ultimatum: “You either marry her or I won’t put out another dime.”
Quick thinker that he is, Alex negotiates a dowry: Charlene’s Mercedes Benz convertible and an all-expense-paid road trip to Panama so he can marry Ramona in the presence of his beloved mother. Soon the deal is sealed and Alex finds himself headed down the Pan American Highway with his fiancée and—much to his dismay—his future mother-in-law.
Armed with maps and an assortment of emergency rations, Alex is determined to postpone their arrival in Panama and his impending nuptials. The unlikely trio has just crossed the border when two Mexican street urchins, Junior (Jaime Buffet, Jr.) and his brother Raul, join the group. And before they know it, Alex’s delaying tactics lead the motley crew into a series of dodgy and often perilous situations frequently involving pistol-waving bandits and corrupt government officials. But it’s their efforts to free Charlene’s lover—a defrocked Guatemalan priest—from jail that leads to an even more twisted turn of events!
Their travels through Mexico, Belize and Guatemala introduce them to a slew of colorful characters, including a drunken boat captain and his blind first mate, and a Guatemalan police officer, who owns several whorehouses. Featuring a roguish protagonist with a distinct, humorous voice, Cut & Run: The Misadventures of Alex Perez is a satirical take on the clash of cultures between north and south of the U.S. border.